Bill of Lefts

Bill of Lefts

     The Bill of Lefts include, but are not limited, to these certain unalienable principles :

  1. Thou shall be secure in the fact government will take care of you. Everything is free as long as you don't work for it. So you are best off not working at all or as little as possible.
  2. Government shall never take away anything it gives you. However, it may take away anything you earn on your own.
  3. There shall be plenty of mandates on the other guy. You are safe as long as you choose do as little as possible -- then government will not ask you to do anything in return. Whatever you do, don't ever think about employing someone.  If you do hire a maid, best not to report it.
  4. Bubbas who hang out together can get most anything they want as long as they promise to vote for incumbent liberals.
  5. Government can always raise taxes on the rich because success is just not fair no matter what the tax rate.
  6. Deficits are a part of life, but that is only a problem for those with money. If the government gives you a credit card for health care or anything, use it as much as you want. The more you use it, the more free things you can expect to get with it in the future.
  7. The Outcome Based Media (aka the PRESSSident) is protected by the freedom of the press and can rewrite or reinterpret the Constitution to meet any desired PRESSSidential goal or specification. The PRESSident is defined as the collective will of the liberal PRESSSSSS.
  8. The Outcome Based Media is only required to report the views that the PRESSSident feels are useful propaganda for the intended audience of that report. Conflicting positions are fine as long as the last statement promises new programs.
  9. Most laws are best written by federal courts and regulatory agencies, so it is best to make any legislation as vague and contradictory as possible.
  10. All rights reserved to the States and individuals are subject to the previous rule.(adopted 10/95)
  11. When your position can't be substantiated by logic or facts, divert the issue to another topic that defames or attacks your opposition's credibility.  It is good if there is little justification to do so, and even better if your spin is full of falsehoods and logical gaps. (9/96)
    1. If you are guilty of something, defend yourself by saying your opponent is guilty of the same, even if it there is no truth in the accusation. (4/00).
  12. Unquestioning faith in Big Government shall be a promoted and protected right. This non-secular faith, its welfare programs and worship of liberal politicians shall replace religion, as well as the faith based charities.  Conservatives who have no faith in big government shall be persecuted and scorned as 'radical right extremists' of the worse kind. (4/98)











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